but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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