Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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