i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
