If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she pinky promised me she was 18
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
