She's JV to your varsity
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
