Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
