whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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