shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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