Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
