We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
