omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You're like the curious george of whores
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
