Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
