Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
