dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
