So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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