There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
