Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
