Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
