Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
