you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jรคger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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