Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
