So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i need some magic done to my vagina
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize