we have pet lesbian snakes
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
