# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
