when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
