Just fell off a train. Bad.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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