apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize