i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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