id be glad to
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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