i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
