you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
