So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's like heaven, but drunker
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
