I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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