I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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