mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Blood and glitter go together right?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
