erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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