"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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