non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize