Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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