She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
