So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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