ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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