Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
As shirtless as possible
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
