I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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