the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
