i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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