and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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