We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A bitchslap is in order.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
