You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
