brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
