So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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