one might say we're banned from that church
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
