when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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