are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
