big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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