at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
