is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
