new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
